| Pages:
1
2 |
'Separated Under One Roof' and Centrelink |
|
|
|
posted 8-10-2011 @ 01:27 PM
|
|
www
|
|
'Separated Under One Roof' and Centrelink
I am just looking for some guidance or any information or tips anyone can give me regarding separating from my husband.
I told him I was leaving, back in May.
We are still living under the same roof together, simply because it is taking time to sell and divide assets and I can't afford to go and rent. I will
be working full time starting in two weeks' time (this has taken some time to secure), and, once I get my financial share, I can borrow to buy a place
of my own (but this will mean I probably won't be able to move out until January).
We are under the same roof, but that's pretty much it. I sometimes feel like I will lose hair, I have already lost weight through the stress and
anxiety of living here and not being able to get away and get over everything. We finally told our two young boys about the divorce just last weekend.
He (ex) was trying to put it off until next week... 3rd week of term... etc etc, but I realised he was just stalling (because he is against the
split).
I am completing the Centrelink form 'Separated Under One Roof' and was wondering has anyone ever filled this out and how did they go? I am interested
in how strict they are.
I will be answering the form completely honestly, I have nothing to hide, but I just don't need them nit-picking that because I cooked a roast dinner,
and he ate it, that 'well you must still be a family'. Because we're REALLY not. I cooked a roast last night, but it was for me (I love chicken) and
the kids. I don't know his planned movements at night. When he did come home, he put a dinner together for himself using what I'd cooked. That's fine.
I figure it's food he has paid for too, so he's entitled. And he did thank me for cooking it. But I don't do anything 'for' him. And when it comes to
laundry stuff, I wash my things and the kids things, but not his. Not sure if he has noticed this. It is just how I feel about the whole situation.
Separate rooms, separate cars, don't socialise or do anything together, rarely talk much unless it's about money or the kids.
Any kind of advice or insight would be appreciated, especially from anyone who's been through this!
Many thanks  |
|
|
|
|
|
posted 8-10-2011 @ 01:36 PM
|
|
www
|
|
Haven't ever filled one of these out Survivor, but I would err on the side of caution. Be mostly honest, but I wouldn't mention cooking for him
(albeit not intentionally). Not sure what type of questions you have to answer, but made sure it reads as you are living - quite separately. Good
luck with the form and with the future. |
|
|
|
|
|
posted 8-10-2011 @ 01:47 PM
|
|
www
|
|
I believe that they accept this situation now more than ever before, due to shortage of housing etc and expense of renting and lack of rental
properties. My belief is that it is no different than having a co tenant. Which quite often you would share a meal with, etc I think it is more that
you sleep separately and your finances are not interacted, you could possibly even keep receipts etc where you can prove you have gone halves etc just
like you would with any other person you may share with. No shared bank accounts all that sort of stuff.
When the world says give up
HOPE WHISPERS
try it one more time.......
|
|
|
|
|
|
posted 8-10-2011 @ 01:47 PM
|
|
www
|
|
I have had a client who was married and have done it.
Make sure you are quite seperate and have no accounts etc together.
It is more common than you might think. |
|
|
|
|
|
posted 8-10-2011 @ 01:54 PM
|
|
www
|
|
(((HUGS))) mate. You would be doing it tough at the moment. I hope it all works out for you xoxo |
|
|
|
|
|
posted 8-10-2011 @ 02:06 PM
|
|
www
|
|
That may be a problem, we still do have a joint account. The mortgages we have all go out of this account. We both also have opened our own separate
accounts. I have directed my pay to go into mine, while his still goes into the joint account. We are planning on transferring the joint account into
his name solely, once the money has been sorted out. Right now, because I'm only part time, I can't contribute an equal share to household costs
(food, electricity, gas, etc) so I transfer my part time pay back to the joint account, with the exception of my mobile bill which I have changed to
dd out of my personal account. So there are definite steps they can see we (I) have done to separate. Clear indicators. And all our families and
friends know, and have known for months, what is happening.
(Thanks tyecart xx. I've had better times! And I'm sure I will in future. I would love to meet you one day!) |
|
|
|
|
|
posted 8-10-2011 @ 03:58 PM
|
|
www
|
|
I am sure that you cannot share accounts at all and I would take steps to disengage these accounts from being in both your names. I know the finance
side of things is one they look most closely at they won't care what family and friends say........he would be liable for child support payments so
can you work it that, that is your share of household monies???? You cannot have a secondary card to any of his credit cards etc either.
When the world says give up
HOPE WHISPERS
try it one more time.......
|
|
|
|
|
|
posted 8-10-2011 @ 04:17 PM
|
|
www
|
|
I did that when I first left my hubby, it's a real situation they just want the facts, can't remember about bank accounts now but I'm sure for ages I
was still using a credit card that we both had one of linked to an account. I think they just want you to prove he's not supporting you financially or
emotionally. What else do they expect us to do when we have no options but to stay in the same house until you can settle yourself somewhere else.
Best of luck hunni xx |
|
|
|
|
|
posted 8-10-2011 @ 04:23 PM
|
|
www
|
|
I don't know much about what your asking in regards to forms etc ,but I feel for you in terms of seperation.
It is hard and you think when will the heartache end etc but it does get eaiser eventually.
I seperated from my daughter dad 8 years ago (she 's 10 now) I hated him for years he was very difficult.
We were advised to go to Relationships Australia to work out custody instead of fighting in court.
We are now friends we get along better then we ever did together.
Best of all our daughter is happy knowing we don't fight etc and I eventually met the man of my dreams who was also a single dad and married him .
Chin up think positive there is a light shining for you some where I promise x |
|
|
|
|
|
posted 8-10-2011 @ 04:27 PM
|
|
www
|
|
My mother did this for a while now this was many years ago but they actually came out to the house to check that a separate room was set up and all of
their cloths were separate. As I said that was 30 or more years ago. Would not think they would do that now. Also hope it all works out for you
soon. |
|
|
|
|
|
posted 8-10-2011 @ 07:42 PM
|
|
www
|
|
My friend also did this and Centrelink would come and check their bedrooms and make sure their clothes were in seperate rooms etc.
They also wanted signed statutories from friends and relatives stating that the couple were no longer together in a relationship, only sharing a
house.
It was very stressful for my friend and he would not move out and didn't have a job.
They actually ended up getting back together. But years later and after 2 more children they broke up and now live apart.
I did wonder if they just did this for money reasons as he lose his job and they did get back together. But she did see someone else so I guess it
was for real.
It would be very hard living with someone after a breakup, I don't think I could do it, so stressful. |
|
|
|
|
|
posted 8-10-2011 @ 08:14 PM
|
|
www
|
|
I work for Centrelink and have for 11 years now but have been on mat leave for 18mths now. Sep under 1 roof is a really difficult one for the
customer as well as the customer service officer who is determining the outcome. That is why a couple of years ago they set up a central team to do
the assessments. They have there strict guidelines which I'm not 100% of now as I have been out of the work for a while now. I remember I used to
HATE doing these as a lot of people wrought the system and it puts 'us' who are only trying to do our jobs in a really difficult position. Not saying
that you are doing this as I am well aware that there are heaps of people out there like yourself who has nowhere to turn and with limited funds needs
to stick it out for a while. LOTS of people try and do this and are still happily living in a family situation just to get extra funds SO my advice
is:
DO not say you still cook his meals!!!! If you are living like this as someone mentioned earlier you must NOT have any financial or emotional ties.
Friends need to see you as being separated. Also family should be aware of your situation.
Try to have your accounts separated. Make sure you have contacted Child support and have an assessment in place. I know I used to get a bit sus if
they said 'No I don't want to take an assessment out on him'.
Be honest but only tell them what they need to know don't go adding to much extra. Also asking for an appointment with a Centrelink social worker may
help your case IF you really are stuck in a situation and have nowhere else to turn.
This may sound harsh but we deal with so many customers each day and most of them are probably honest but there are those out there that just ruin the
system for everyone making 'us' especially hard people.
Believe me before I worked at Centrelink I thought everyone was good but before I went off on MAT leave as soon as someone sat down to be interviewed
I was questioning them. Not good.
Good luck with the situation. Hope it all works out.
Another thing - if you're just claiming Family Tax Benefit they would probably just separate you without any hassle it's only if you want to claim
Parenting payment single that you're going to have to prove yourself.
|
|
|
|
|
|
posted 8-10-2011 @ 08:35 PM
|
|
www
|
|
I used to work for Centrelink, though it was 15 years ago now. I never worked in the section that dealt with Separated Under One Roof claims, but
these are the few things that I remember.
They do come to your house and check. Make sure that there is nothing of yours in his room, and nothing of his in yours. If you are still Separated
Under One Roof for a period of time (I can't remember if it's 6 months or over a year) they will do random checks when you're not expecting them.
Try and separate your finances as much as possible. It doesn't matter that you are not contributing equally to household expenses as he owes you
child support (Have you contacted the Child Support Agency yet? It's a good idea to get this started). I don't know if this is totally necessary, but
can you ask him to get his pay sent to his own bank account, and then have the money for the mortgage payment transferred to the joint account?
If you don't share meals, separate the kitchen into his food and your food. Different shelves in the fridge, etc.
I don't remember if they ask your friends and family straight away about the separation, but after a year, they do get really nosy and have been know
to go around and ask your neighbours about you.
I'm sorry that you have to go through this. It's such a difficult time, and not made any easier by Centrelink staff asking difficult questions. It
sounds like you are doing all the right things. Good luck to you, and hopefully you'll get someone nice handling your claim.
Here's a link that might be helpful - it's not about centrelink payments, but it does talk about living separate under one roof, and how you go about
proving it
http://www.familylawcourts.gov.au/wps/wcm/connect/FLC/Home/P...
For some reason the above link wont work - google separated under one roof and it should come up.
Edit - I just read your initial post again - most of claims I know about are for Parenting (single parent) payments. If you are starting full time
work, I don't think they would be as strict as you are not trying to claim a pension. Best of luck with everything. |
|
|
|
|
|
posted 8-10-2011 @ 08:39 PM
|
|
www
|
|
A couple of other things:
If Sep under 1 roof is granted they will ask when do you think the sep will occur as the condition is that sep under 1 roof is only a temp measure.
They will then set up a review for say 3mths time and send out forms again and then maybe do it again in another 3mth. If it goes on for any longer
they may get you in for an interview to go through your situation again.
|
|
|
|
|
|
posted 8-10-2011 @ 11:14 PM
|
|
www
|
|
Wow that's a lot to take in. Thank you so much everyone for taking the time to write to me. I really really do appreciate it.
What I am mainly concerned about is that they just won't 'get it'... that I am trying to get out of here as fast as I can, but I don't want to drag my
boys into a rental, then move again into a place of my own, I am trying to make the impact on them as little as I can. So far, so good. I don't really
know what the pension is or Parenting payments. I have found it all pretty confusing. The reason why I wanted them to know is because I am putting the
boys into After School Care every fortnight (due to moving to full time work) and I need help with the payments. I have my own ASC arrangements, and
am paying my own ASC fees out of my personal bank account. He has made his own ASC care booking and is paying for that himself (we have shared care
50/50). So they can see even that is separate.
I have filled out forms online. As a result I have received FTB Part A and B (which we were not entitled to when we were together due to his income).
I got a huge lump sum, which was obviously back-dated, and a fortnightly payment. I want to make sure everyone - Centrelink, FAO, Child Support Agency
- are all in agreement and have the understanding of the situation; and then work out exactly what FTB A&B are for so I can allocate it to
expenses accordingly!
I have completed a Child Support application online today (because I was only able to access my letters on FAO today, I didn't realise the urgency of
doing this). I really need the Child Support confirmation because I need it for the bank loan!
I sometimes feel like I'm in a whirlpool of utter confusion, most of the time it makes me laugh, and I'm lucky I have had a very kind lady at the
local Centrelink office calmly explain things to me.
So thank you so much everyone for your explanations and advice, I really do appreciate it so much xx |
|
|
|
|
|
posted 9-10-2011 @ 12:04 AM
|
|
www
|
|
I was in the same situation earlier this year. They will 'get it' and they will tell you what you need to do. Have your pen and paper ready and just
do all that they tell you to do. I wish you all the best for the future.  |
|
|
|
|
|
posted 9-10-2011 @ 01:08 AM
|
|
www
|
|
Thank you, Fiddlestix |
|
|
|
|
|
posted 10-10-2011 @ 07:57 PM
|
|
www
|
|
| Quote: | Originally posted by Survivor
I don't really know what the pension is or Parenting payments. |
What I was referring to was the Sole Parent Pension (it's sometimes called Parenting Payment). It's usually for this payment that they use the
Separated Under One Roof form - and they go to a lot of trouble before they approve it. With the Family Payments, I doubt they go to so much trouble
trying to prove/disprove the living arrangements (sorry if I worried you with my previous post).
Best of luck with everything, hope it all goes well for you. |
|
|
|
|
|
posted 10-10-2011 @ 09:16 PM
|
|
www
|
|
Thanks for clarifying that, langod. I wasn't really worrying as such, because I feel that they will see my situation is genuine. It's just that it's
such a new world of information that I've never understood, just a big learning curve, I guess.
Thank you xx |
|
|
|
|
|
posted 10-10-2011 @ 11:46 PM
|
|
www
|
|
| Quote: | Originally posted by Survivor
That may be a problem, we still do have a joint account. The mortgages we have all go out of this account. We both also have opened our own separate
accounts. I have directed my pay to go into mine, while his still goes into the joint account. We are planning on transferring the joint account into
his name solely, once the money has been sorted out. Right now, because I'm only part time, I can't contribute an equal share to household costs
(food, electricity, gas, etc) so I transfer my part time pay back to the joint account, with the exception of my mobile bill which I have changed to
dd out of my personal account. So there are definite steps they can see we (I) have done to separate. Clear indicators. And all our families and
friends know, and have known for months, what is happening.
(Thanks tyecart xx. I've had better times! And I'm sure I will in future. I would love to meet you one day!) |
I he is still supporting you financially any income you might get from centrelink will be calculated based on his and your income and deductions will
be made, so you may get only a small amount or nothing at all. |
|
|
|
|
|
posted 11-10-2011 @ 12:54 AM
|
|
www
|
|
I hope things work out for you real soon. It must be an extremely difficult situation to be it. Its good to hear you have some direction to head it
but if you feel its stressing you out and your not coping well emotionally, can you go to organisations for assisstance. I believe central mission and
places like that can provide temporary accommodation in times of need. They may even be able to suggest other ways you can get help to move into
another place until you can get settled.
My heart goes out to you and everyone else who has been through this recently and currently. There has been so many over the last few months, and
others who are feeling like they want to make that same step but too afraid to. (((Hugs))) Take care. |
|
|
|
|
|
posted 11-10-2011 @ 08:47 AM
|
|
www
|
|
Your right Jackpot. You think Centrelink are harsh until you go and and do these jobs. I see people all the time who know the system backwards and how
to get more money etc saying they ar single when they are not, or single parents when they have a partner. It sure opened my eyes and makes me
furious.
One because my tax is helping them and two because people who are trying to do the right thing have it hard and feel anxious and stressed. |
|
|
|
|
|
posted 11-10-2011 @ 09:30 AM
|
|
www
|
|
I know you're not saying I'm one of those people, Billycat, and I do understand how hard it can be for Centrelink staff to do their job because of all
the people who abuse the system. My brother works for Centrelink (over 20 years) in a very well known place on the NSW north coast, some of the
stories from him of parents who know the system, they don't work and their kids have NEVER worked because the incentive to claim from the govt is just
too easy!
I just hope they can see, I've never asked them for help with anything in my life before, but now I really need it. |
|
|
|
|
|
posted 11-10-2011 @ 09:46 AM
|
|
www
|
|
What a stressful time for you and the children. My girlfriend seperated under one roof because her husband just didn't get the fact the marriage was
over. They stayed in this situation for nearly two years and it was a really bad experience for her and the children. Centrelink was the easy part,
but they do a house check to make sure you have seperate rooms. Good luck and wishing you well |
|
|
|
|
|
posted 11-10-2011 @ 11:16 PM
|
|
www
|
|
Hi Survivor, I was wondering what you are applying to Centrelink for? If you are starting a full time job in two weeks, you wouldn't be eligible for
any benefits, would you? Or is it just for family assistance? |
|
|
| Pages:
1
2 |
